in my memory
Wednesday, February 5, 2014 @ 2:15 AM




and when you love someone, don't stop. ever.
even people roll their eyes or call you crazy.
even then, especially then, you don't give up.
because if I could give up,
if I could just take the world's advice and move on
and find someone else, that wouldn't be love.
that would be some other disposable thing that
is not worth fighting for.
Ted Mosby, Season 9 , HIMYM



I fell on this adorable boy. tidak kacak. tidak juga kurus tinggi. 
But you know, he got a smile that people would love to smile back.
In my memory, I start hearing his name when my best girl, spoke about him.
"well, kau tahu dia ni dapat staright A tapi tak nak ambil kelas pure Science 
 sebab dia nak ikut jejak langkah ayah dia."

So I was like "Wah, usia muda sudah tahu apa yang dia mahu. bagusnya"
Meanwhile, aku tengok diri sendiri. Apa yang aku mahu dalam hidup?
Entah. Angkat bahu. Mana aku tahu. Selagi hidup, hidup jela.

But when I'm starting my Senior Year, I keep recall what my Lily said.
It's good to start now. restart. refresh. 
Starting that moment, I'm write, think what I suppose to do. 
What my target. Where I should shoot  with my bow.

When I'm hearing he continued his study at overseas, I was 
"wahhhhh. dia ni kenapa bagus sangat? "

Sometimes, bila pergi kedai runcit dalam bulan Ramdhan, 
I'm like crazy person who buying all kind newspaper in kedai
and than turning page to page harshly 
semata-mata nak mencari 'Salam Perantau'

But as usual. this is not typical love romance. 
Tak pernah jumpa pun dia dalam surat khabar tu. haha.

Aku ni kurang sikit ayunya. lebih suka kacak. lebih sikit kasar.
Kalau orang perempuan masak tolong ibu di dapur, 
aku mop lantai dan kemas rumah.
Kalau orang perempuan suka pakai kain labuh-labuh
aku suka sarung jeans skinny aku. 
kalau perempuan suka baca novel-novel cinta
aku baca novel karangan fixi yang luar dari kotak.
kalau orang perempuan duduk diam-diam dalam rumah.
aku keluar bawa gitar pergi gerai member jual burger.

Jadi mana mungkin aku nak anggap cinta aku macam gadis Rasullulah,
Fatimah yang ayu kuat bergama dan taat jatuh cinta pada pemimpin terakhir 
Khulafaur Rasyidin, Saidina Ali b Abi talid. mana mungkin. 

Saiditina Fatimah yang senyap-senyap cinta Saidina Ali dan 
Saidina Ali juga sembunyi cintanya juga. 
mana mungkin cinta aku sesuci cinta mereka. 

bangkit dari mimpi yang lena, Amelia.